Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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