the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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