I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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