dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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