i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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