idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
