Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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