you guys were way drunker than both of me
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
