apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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