Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
