I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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