tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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