I cockslap morals
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Randomize
