i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
