It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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