Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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