escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you traded sex for a burrito?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
