you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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