I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
