My girlfriend figured out who you are.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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