my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
