I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
