I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
