my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
