Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
