It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
