Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
