The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
