Cold hands, warm shart.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize