Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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