he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
