My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
