my soul wont recognize me after tonight
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
