I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
