As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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