She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
