i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
