It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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