RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
