when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
