Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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