Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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