i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
