Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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