I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Randomize
