They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I have fence marks all over my body
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Someone signed my nipple.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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