i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
