So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
