Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
