If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You can't just leave with hair like that
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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