All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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