I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
