maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
