is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Randomize
