cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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