Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
