How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
