I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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