I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
