fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
