dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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