I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
